Isabel - Our Adoption Journey

2006-08-09- Preparing for the second trip to Shymkent.

It has been a crazy month. Between shopping, childproofing my home, finding a nanny for Isabel, scheduling her medical appointments, applying for FMLA, packing and repacking our bags, and working like crazy to leave work ready for delegation, the time has passed so quickly. At the same time so slowly when I think how many days are left to be able to bring Isabel home.

I went to PR to see my family, and show all of Isabel's pictures and videos. I know for sure that they were getting tired of me showing them the photos so often. But they are happy for us, and they support means a lot to me.

I have received wonderful presents for Isabel. She now has more clothes than she will be able to use before she grow up and change sizes, toys galore, wonderful books (specially the ones on Kazakhstan life and stories for children), and children household items. But the greatest present of all received have been the support of family, friends and support groups (NJ SPACE / SKM). THANKS!!!!! for your generosity, your support means the world to us and makes this journey easier.

Next Friday my sister Gracy and I will leave for Shymkent and next Monday when I leave the Baby House, she will leaving with me.  She is not here (at home) yet, but her presence is felt everywhere in the house.  I am so exited and so scared. Will she remember me? Will she grieve long for the people and things she will be leaving behind? How I am going to comfort her? What to feed her? Will she be a fuzzy sleeper or have nightmares? How are we going to communicate?  Will she scream all the way back to NY? I know that we will manage somehow, but that does not make it less stressful.

The rest of the week will be a lot of activity, Tuesday- flight to Almaty, Wednesday - international adoption doctor appointment, Thursday-  bring completed papers to US Embassy, Friday- Interview on  US Embassy, Saturday - return home (if Lufthansa has an opening for Isabel, she is in a waiting list).

So I do not think that I will be able to post from there this time, but I will post again as soon as I have a minute of peace after returning home. So keep tuned for updates, I will keep updating for one more year after we return. Pray for us and wish us luck.

2006-07-28 - Back in NJ and preparing for second trip

After the court date, I flew to Almaty on July 12. On the 13, I went to the Kazakh Museum and did some shopping and flew back home on July 14.  Leaving Isabel behind was very difficult, I think of her constantly and wonder if she remembers me or miss me a little.

This time since my arrival have been very busy. I went into a lot of shopping sprees to outfit her room. Who will have thought that buying panties size 2T will be so difficult, and so many cute dresses, hats and bows. Plus do not forget the zillion styles of walkers, strollers, travel cots, toys and books. It has been overwhelming and fun.

Also, I made appointments with regular pediatricians and developmental pediatricians and found the perfect nanny to take care of Isabel while I work, she will start the day after I came home with Isabel.

Tomorrow I will start childproofing my house (electrical outlets, installing gates on stairs, moving breakables and cleaning agents out of small hands reach). Next weekend I travel to PR to visit my family, share my news with anyone who does not know yet and bore them to tears with my huge load of pictures. Then the next weekend, on August 11 my sister Gracy and I will travel to Shymkent to bring Isabel home. I could hardly wait.

I just received notice today that my Family Leave at work was approved and the arrangements to bring Stella from Brazil to cover me at work during my leave are nearly completed. God is so good. So two more weeks to go.

2006-07-11 - Second Court date

Today in the morning we went to see Isabel Nezerkee for the last time during this trip. I took her the large laminated photos of us, and asked the caretakers to explain to her that I will come back and to put the photos on her crib so she could remember me. I hope that they do.  The baby house was having their annual emergency response drill, with emergency evacuations, and first aid/rescue operations. It was a very interesting experience.

Isabel was wonderful, we played together for a full hour and for the first time she was reluctant to return to her caretaker at the end of our time together.

After the Baby House we went to the court house. By the way, the lady that I thought was the prosecutor turned out to be the judge. The hearing lasted one hour, were everybody from Farida, me, the lady from the MOE answered a lot of questions. Then the depositions taken from the Baby House director were presented. At the end the judge asked if all the agencies and the court recommended that I will be awarded the adoption of Isabel. Everybody said yes, so She agreed and Congratulated me. It was the most tense hour of my life, but it was so worthy.  So tomorrow the fifteen's day period where anyone with a good reason could stop the adoption will start.  At the end of that time, if the adoption is not contested, the decision will be final and the paperwork trail will continue. 

Tomorrow I will leave for Almaty, and Friday I will return to NY.  If everything goes as to expected, I should leave NY for my second trip on August 11th.  Photos will be posted once I get home.

2006-07-10 – Fun day #20 – Trucks and bubbles

Today was fun. Isabel Nezerkee was very active. She had her cheerios before play time and refused anything else.

She wanted to go outside, and at every opportunity she would dash to the door and tried to open it. It turned into a game. The items of the day were the trucks, evicting the stuffed bunnies from their seats and bubbles. She was very intrigued with them. The visit lasted less than an hour. She is still very happy to leave me and go with the caretaker when they come for her. I know that she will grieve when I take her out of the baby house for good, I am praying that I will be able to comfort her during that time.

After the baby house, we went to Air Astana and bought my return ticket to Almaty for July 12. The Air Astana lady advised me to take cash with me to pay for overweight luggage. I think that they took a look at me and thought, “typical tourist, I bet she bought more things that she brought”, which of course is true.

Then we went to see Nurshay at Farida’s office. I paid for yesterdays excursion and the phone bill. Also I was advised that Almaty has not received copy of my new fingerprints, which I renewed last April. I will be calling Anna at CHI to see if she could help.

After that we went to the photo shop. I had 3 photos of me and Isabel enlarged and laminated. I am hopping to convince the baby house personnel to allowed the photos in Isabel’s crib. So she will see my face during the time that I will be away. At 8:30 Katya will come for me to take me to the internet place, so I could post some updates.

Tomorrow is the big day, I will go first to the baby house and then to the court for my second court day. It is also the last time that I will see Isabel until the next trip in August. So as you could imagine I am getting very nervous, exited and sad at the same time.

2006-07-09 – Fun day #19 – Sunday – Visit to Turkistan.

No visits allowed on Sunday to the Baby House, so Katya, Nurshay, her youngest son and I went to Turkistan to see a 12th century Mosque. What a beautiful place. It has a very extensive rose garden on front and the building is so majestic and well preserved. We spend a lot of time exploring the complex which is now a pilgrims and tourist attraction not an active mosque. Even though an Inman still read the Koran to the town people, every day from one of the complex towers. Its very curious, is the first historic mosque that I have seen without minarets.

After touring the complex we went to SHOP at the souvenirs stands. Later we ate in traditional Turkistan restaurant. The food was so good, we had their traditional bread baked with meat inside, more red meat prepared with onions, salad, chicken kebabs and of course Pepsi, coffee and tea. It was a very nice outing. It was a perfect day, good company, weather, attractions and food, now if the drivers were no so bent on playing chicken and aggravating each other in the roads it will have been even better.

Photos will come after the film is developed.

2006-07-08 – Fun day #18 - The truck girl

Since it is Saturday the visit was schedule for half an hour but it lasted less than 20 minutes. She was sleepy and lazy until she remembered the toy trucks, then it was truck noises while she played with them. We spent a short fun time together and all of the sudden it was time for her to go.

Very few electronic pictures today, the camcorder had a strange message on the screen, so we decided not to continue with it and instead used the disposable camera. So more photos from this day will come later when the film is developed,

Katya showed me Isabel Nezerkee original Birth certificate and medical history. The Baby house gave them to her to be sent for translation and to be included on the next court date. Of course I did not understand anything, since it was written in Russian.

After the Baby House visit, we went to order more copies of Isabel’s passport photos. And in the afternoon we went to a very nice restaurant for pizza. Katya helped me ordered, the pizza was so good that I ordered an extra one “to go” and have it in the apartment’s freezer for later.

2006-07-07 – Fun day #17 – First court day

Katya and I met Farida and Nurshay at court by 9:30 am. There a Lady from the court was waiting for us. She reviewed all my documentation, and make me some questions like: Did you visit the baby for 2 weeks at the baby house?, What was her reaction to you?, Does she seems happy to see you?, Are you happy with selecting her? Do you work? Who will take care of her while you work? Does a representative from the MOE saw you interacting with her during your visits? Does the Baby House personnel saw you interacting with the baby? Do I know about her medical condition? Do you know that you need to send us post placement reports annually until she is 18?

She told us that since all the paperwork was in order, we will have our next court day on July 11th at 12:00 noon. If everything goes right during that day we may not need a third court day. Just when we were leaving the office, the Lady from MOE arrived; we leaved the room so she could proceed with her meeting with the court lady. I am not sure but I think that the court lady is the prosecutor that will be in the adoption hearing with the judge.

We decided not to purchase my return ticket in Air Astana until after the court day on July 11, in the event that unexpected things happen.

We visited Isabel Nezerkee in the Baby House after court. She was sleepy and lazy. She did not want to eat anything but her cookies. So I have my own cookie monster. She also wanted out of the room to explore and spend considerable amount of time trying to figure how the room door latching mechanism works.

The toys of the day were two dump trucks where she could put all her treasures and push them at the same time (or to her delight dump them at the same time) and where she could take a ride with me pushing her.

She was not that enthusiastic of walking today, and when I walked with her she would make funny noises like indicating this walking business is so hard and tiring.

2006-07-06 – Fun day #16 – Walking, walking and more walking.

Today was a fun day. Isabel came with the comfortable shoes that I bought her, so she just wanted to walk. She knows that our play time starts after her snack, so she ate some of her banana, searched until she found her cookies, demolished them and tasted her juice. After that was walking time.

She started using the small chairs as her walker, she had two favorites, one old and one new. When she was pushing them and walking, she made noises like a car motor and the laugh.

She was also trying to figure out how to open the door to get out of the room.

Paperwork- today I signed the “Bonding days visits log” the document was in Russian, so I am taking it by faith that that was what I signed. The document will be presented at court tomorrow, along with the photos.

After the visit to the Baby House we went to the offices of Air Astana to book my return trip from Shymkent to Almaty. Well surprise, I remembered Anna from CHI and her “relax and expect the unexpected”. I am booked to return to NY on July 14, leaving Almaty at 3:00 am. I was supposed to take the 9:30 am flight from Shymkent to Almaty on July the 13th. Well the surprise came that Air Astana changed the flight to night instead of morning and if I take that one I will miss my flight to the US. The flight on July 12 is still at 9:30am, but my last court date was supposed to be the12 at 9:30. So it looks like I will be taking an overnight train the night of July 12. The train ride is 8 hrs. All of this is still tentative, pending on court dates.

2006-07-05 – Bonding day #15 – Escape from the Baby House

Nurshay, Katya and I took Isabel Nezerkee for passport photos today. She was wearing the green outfit that I bought her and was very exited going to the outside, looking everywhere. For the first time food took a step back in priorities to people watching.

Taking her passport photo turned out to be more difficult that we thought. She will not keep the required stand long enough for the photographer to take the photo. After a lot of tricks, finally the photos were taken.

We also went to a store and bought her folkloric dress and hat. They are pink, dark red and gold and will fit her in about two years.

After that we went to a park. One of her shoes came out (she had the small green ones), when we look closer, her toes were scraped raw. I decided not to put her shoes back on. She loved the water fountains, was scared of all the mechanical rides. We went to a coffee shop. They had the music on, and Isabel danced for a while, and drank her apple juice.

It was a wonderful outing. On the return, she was hot and cranky, unable to stay put. When we arrived to the baby house, for a while her smiles were all gone. When we found the assistant director, she smiled again, went to her, waved good bye to me and blew me a kiss.

Today officially ends the 15 bonding period. From now on instead of bonding days, it will be Fun Days. Friday is my first court day; I am starting to get nervous.

2006-07-04 – Bonding day #14 – Fashion show day.

Today Isabel came to the play room with a blue dress in chiffon and the green shoes that are too small for her. I tried giving her a jar of baby food, carrots this time. She tasted, did not like it and refused to open her mouth for more. Then she started looking everywhere until she found her cookies, she opened the bag and started eating the cookies.

We took the opportunity to try for fit the clothes that I bought her in the bazaar. They fit her, but I still do not know which size she is, since one did not have any label and the other the size was in Chinese. She liked the green outfit better than the pink dress. She did not like when we removed her clothes, she started to cry, once we put the new clothes on she was happy again. If she keep this attitude until she is an old lady I will not mind at all.

Today she wanted to stand and walk by herself using a small chair as a walker. I did not know how she did it, her shoes were hurting her.

Today, she waved bye to me and blew me a kiss when they took her away at the end of the day.

2006-07-03 – Bonding day #13 – Itchy dress day.

Isabel Nezerkee was a delight today. Full of energy and wanting to play. She ate a baby food jar, of course bananas, making a lot of faces. As soon as she finished she started looking for the cookies. Usually she ate the cookies slowly, making them last, not today; today she just wanted to eat quickly so she could go to play. Again we were unable to give her juice or water today. Katya is going to ask the baby house ladies to show me how to give her liquids.

Today she had a white party dress, it was beautiful. But I took a look at it at started to itch, it looks like one of those dresses that when you sweat you start itching and scratching everywhere. But she looked comfortable in it, not a single scratch.

For a short time today, the baby house director join us in the play room. That lady loves these babies so much, and all of them respond to her, especially Isabel Nezerkee. She wanted to see me walking with her, so we walk around the room a couple of times, then she played with us for a while, took some pictures of Isabel and me and left. Five minutes after that, they came for her.

I have noticed that more than faces, Isabel reacts to her caretakers by her white or blue uniforms.

After the baby house, we went to take the photos for printing. I need 15, but printed 160 to have a wide selection from whom to choose. Katya will pick them within 1 hr and we will select the 15 that she needs to take to Farida in the morning.

2006-07-02 – Bonding day #12 – Sunday, so no visit today.

We went to the bazaar today to order Isabel’s Kazak folkloric dress, but the place was closed again. We will try again tomorrow after the visit to the baby house. After more shopping, we went for a picnic and a walk in a nearby park. It was very serene and pleasant. Tomorrow I need to develop the photos that I need to take to court, so we are doing that after the visit to the baby house.

2006-07-01 – Bonding day #11 – She was sleepy today.

It rained in the night and some during the day, so the day has been very pleasant.

Our visit was in the morning for half an hour. Isabel Nezerkee, was sleepy today. She ate her banana very slowly, like it was a hardship. At the beginning I thought that she did not wanted a banana today but, she did not relinquish it. After the banana she started looking for the cookies until she found them.

None of her toys, nor the mirror kept her attention for long today. She wanted to walk, but every few steps she stopped and started dragging her feet, like “I am so tired”, the same with crawling. She spent more time cuddling with me than other times. She was just sleepy. She had just started to get more active when they came for her.

After the visit to the Baby House, Katya and I went to the bazaar. I bought the birthday cards for her next 16 birthdays, a couple of dresses for her and a Kazak child cradle with all the curtains, pillows and stuff. We are going disassemble it, put it in a box for me to carry (I do not how yet) and later reassemble it at home. I can not carry anything else, so the only purchase that I going to make is a Kazak traditional dress, which I am going to order this trip and collect in August during my second trip. It is a good thing that I do not have to take the train from NY to home, since I am carrying so much stuff.

2006-06-30 – Bonding day #10 – No photos today.

Today has been a curious day.

First- the day started when I woke up and realized it was raining. It rained until 1:00 pm. The morning was so cool and pleasant. Then the afternoon started to heat up and we reached the 34C (the coolest temperature during the day since I have been here). It felt great.

Second- the “Channel Master” (the cable guy) came to hook up the TV in the apartment. Now I have 45 channels without interference but only 2 in English (MTV and NBC). We have a very eclectic conversation, between Russian, Kazak from his part and English and Spanish from my side, I understood that he needed to contact Nurshay for something related to the payment. I gave him Nurshay’s cell phone number, he tried to call her, but she was out of the area of coverage. He told me that he will call her later and left. See words are not the only form of communication.

Third- The Lady from the Minister of Education office came to see me interact with Isabel. We picked her up at her office. We waited a little while for her. The traffic was horrendous, so we did not make it to the Baby House until 4:00 pm. That translated to a half hour visit. Isabel was happy to see me and make an immediate approach to the goodies bag. The banana, cheerios and cookies always a hit, but there was no way to give her milk or juice, she just wont open her mouth. The MOE’s Lady entered the room after the snack, when we were playing. Immediately Isabel turned not shy but reserved. She did not approach the Lady, when she called her. When I took her to the lady, she did not extend her arms and tolerated a short physical contact with her. After that her play was muted, she did not laugh spontaneously, she kept looking at the Lady to make sure she has not moved. This gave me some peace of mind, now I know that she will not go to strangers at every opportunity. It also let me know that even though I am not her favorite person, she recognizes me and will prefer to go to me than to a stranger even if the stranger is Kazak looking. In the evening Katya called to let me know that the MOE’s Lady was satisfied and that everything was OK with her.

The visit was so short that all of the sudden it has ended and we had not taken any pictures. Tomorrow, since it is Saturday the visit will be half an hour in the morning. I will make sure to take pictures then.

2006-06-29 – Bonding day #9 – Today it was about walking

When they brought Isabel she was smiling but sleepy. She ate her banana very slowly. We tried to gave her apple juice in a baby bottle, but she did not open her mouth. I gave her a couple of spoons of apple juice, she make funny faces and refused the third spoon. But the cookies were a hit again. I think I got my own cookie monster.

After the cookies, and a brief inspection of toys an books it was all about walking and crawling. She heard the other kids in the corridor on route to the yard and kiddies pools. She walked as quickly as she can to the door but at the time that we got there the kids were gone, she kept looking for them.

She went so happily to the caretaker when she came to take her away. It make me think on how difficult is going to be for her the day that I take her away from the baby house, the kids, the familiar faces, smells, foods, noises. It made me wonder on how she will grieve for all that’s left behind.

Oh, she was in her green dress again today, as always she was beautiful.

THANKS!!!! Everyone for your comments. It gets lonely here, and knowing that you guys are there sharing this journey with me makes it easier.

2006-06-28 – Bonding day #8 – She was wide awake and full of energy

It was Katya and me today. When they brought Isabel she was all smiles. I picked her up, and tried to give her yogurt, this time she not only make funny faces indicating that she did not liked the strawberry yogurt, she plain refused to eat it. The banana was a huge success, but the only way that I was able to gave her juice was with the spoon. I am suspecting that she still drinks the liquids in a baby bottle, so we are going to buy her one and then try again.

The toys of the day were a Barney book, the piano (she likes the noise), connecting rings that she used as bracelets and the mirror, what could I said, she is a girly girl.  The hour went so quickly.  She is vocalizing more, I do not know if they are actually words or just sounds and she is still happy to go with her caretaker when they come back to her.  Today marks the middle of the bonding period. Time has passed very quickly but I still have along time to go.

Oh I forget, know I have 2 more channels without interference in the TV (3 MTVs channels and a movie channel) all in Russian.

2006-06-27 – Bonding day #7 – She was sleepy today

Today is was not as hot as other days; the temperature was about 95F, so it was easier on me. I think I am getting adjusted to the heat, I no longer feel like I am melting, now I just feel like I am overcooked.

It was Katya and me today. When they brought Isabel she was all smiles, but muted smiles, not exuberant like other times. I pick her up, and she was clingy. Later when I fed her she was not into it and did not finished her yogurt. She was sleepy, it appears that she wake up from her nap latter than usual.  I gave her some cheerios and she ate them all but slowly. After the cheerios she wake up and was very active.

The toys of the day were a Barney book and a small photo album of my family that my niece and goddaughter put up for her. It appears that the purple dinosaur made another conquest.  She liked the photo album in the sense that it opens up like an accordion and she found that intriguing.  The two photos that she kept looking back were the ones of Gracemarie and her dog (Rocky). See Gracemarie she already likes you. This visit was a short one, only 45 minutes. Just when we were involved with playing, they came and took her away. Every day seeing her leave is harder.

After the visit to the Baby House we went shopping for souvenirs, I plan to buy 18 special Kazak presents, to give her one per year on her birthday. I am still short for 5 presents. So next time that we go shopping we are going to hit another bazaar.

2006-06-26 – Bonding day #6 – New dress, all smiles

Today it was Katya and me.  Also during a brief period of time one of the Baby House officials was in the room to see us interact.

The older kids were splashing around in a small inflatable swimming pool with their caretakers; they were having a lot of fun.

Isabel Nezerkee was all smiles today. She came in with a new dress and the green shoes that are too small for her. While I feed her, Katya put her the new shoes I bought for her in the bazaar  (size 22) whatever that means. They fit.  I tried to figure out her dress size, but the label was in Chinese.  Tomorrow I will take with me a measuring ribbon and take her measurements.

She ate her yogurt making funny faces, but the cookies merited only smiles. She only walk for a short period of time, but crawled everywhere. The monkeys, a small ball and the stacking toys were her favorite toys today.

She loves when I swirl her around me, I get dizzy, but she just laughs and insist on more. She also loves hanging with her head down and feet up.

Every day our hour together gets by so quickly, and I miss her and thought of her when she is not with me. The month that I have to go back to the states without her looks more “desalentador” every day. She is already in my heart and the thought of leaving her behind even for a month is a depressing one.

2006-06-25 – Bonding day #5 – Visit to the Baby House not allowed today.

Is a curious thing, even though that we could not visit today (Baby House rules); it counts as a bonding day.  I missed not seeing her today.

Today Katya, Nurshay and I hit the bazaar in the morning. It was a wonderful experience; it reminded me of the bazaars in Morocco, Tunisia and Cairo, plus the big flea markets of Pennsylvania. I bought two pairs of earrings and a pair of shoes for Isabel Nezerkee, plus a set of blouse and pants for me. The experience of trying the pants for size was a curious one. The vendor, Katya and Nurshay made a tent of a piece of cloth so I could remove my pants and try the new ones, all this while around us a sea of people was walking through. Just like camping.

 

In the afternoon, we had a picnic in a small lake. Nurshay and Katya went for a swim while a waded on the shore. Most of the people there were bathing either on bathing suites or their clothes, but some just removed their clothes and bathed on their undies like it was a normal day to day thing.  For all I know may be it is. By 4:00 pm the area started getting crowed so we returned to the city.

By the way I learned today that Nurshay’s name is spelled with an y not an i. Not that she minded how I wrote it.

2006-06-24 – Bonding day #4 – She was all smiles today

I am having a lot of trouble posting photos. Some of them are supposed to be in the Photo album, but I do not see them. We will try again on Monday.

Today is Saturday so visitation is in the morning for half an hour.  When we got there the kids were in the patio playing, and taking some sun. They were very curious of who was coming in and out of the Baby House.

Isabel Nezerkee, came into the room laughing, and stretched her hands to me, so I could pick her up. She did not want me to hold her, she wanted me to rescue her and put her in the floor for a good crawl. She had the same dress as the previous two days, but the shoes were different, green this time instead of red.  She did not want to stand up or to walk much today, so I checked her shoes. Guess what, they were at least 1 size too small, her little toes were so cramped that it had to be painful, no wonder she did not wanted to walk.

Yesterday I introduced her to finger puppets and bracelets with Velcro, she was not very enthusiastic. So I was very surprised when today she picked up the finger puppets and put one in one of her index fingers and extended the other finger showing me the other puppet so I could put it on it, when I did she lifted her fingers, move them, laugh and remove them to not touch them again for the rest of the time. The she picked up one of the bracelet and put it on, this was also a one time event. But the fun of the day for her was a small plastic “barrel of monkeys”. She enjoyed removing them from the barrel and then put them back in. She still does not have the coordination to link one monkey with another.

The half an hour felt like 15 minutes. Tomorrow there is no visitation, the TV is still on 2 MTV Russian channels, I have nearly exhausted my book collection, I have memorized nearly all the songs in my MP3 and the temperature is expected to be even higher, so is going to be a looong day.

2006-06-23 – Bonding day #3 – She decided not to cry today

 

Today only Katya went with me to the Baby House. We used the “play room”. This time when the her caretaker brought her to me she smiled and lifted her arms for me to pick her up. I think she started to associate me with food.  In the food department, I discovered that even though she did not liked the yogurt flavor that I brought her, she ate it. She does not know how to drink from a straw, so tomorrow we will bring a cup for her juice. She loves any kind of cookies and is a messy eater. I gave her a spoon but she does not know what to do with it, so I am looking forward to messy feeding times while she learn how to feed herself.

Today She had the same green dress and red shoes than yesterday but the multicolor sun hat was missing. Today she was more into crawling, walking and looking in the mirror than playing with toys. Only a small ball held her attention today.

We are still calling her Isabel or Isabel Nezerkee, but she decided not to answer to any. The time passed so quickly, I do not think that she was with me even for an hour before they pick her up.

After the visit we went to Farida’s office to sign more papers, and then to the court house to submit them. It was also the first time that I saw my complete dossier as submitted to Kazakhstan, it has 139 pages excluding all the updates submitted later.  You know we are told never to sign anything without reading it first. I have signed so many papers in Russian without knowing their content only their intent. Is a good thing that I have a lot of confidence in CHI, and felt free to sign them without knowing their contents, otherwise I will be wondering if I signed my life away in those papers.

Tomorrow is Saturday so the visit is in the morning at 9:00 .We were not able to go to the internet café to post today either. 

2006-06-23 – Bonding day #3 – She decided not to cry today

 

Today only Katya went with me to the Baby House. We used the “play room”. This time when the her caretaker brought her to me she smiled and lifted her arms for me to pick her up. I think she started to associate me with food.  In the food department, I discovered that even though she did not liked the yogurt flavor that I brought her, she ate it. She does not know how to drink from a straw, so tomorrow we will bring a cup for her juice. She loves any kind of cookies and is a messy eater. I gave her a spoon but she does not know what to do with it, so I am looking forward to messy feeding times while she learn how to feed herself.

Today She had the same green dress and red shoes than yesterday but the multicolor sun hat was missing. Today she was more into crawling, walking and looking in the mirror than playing with toys. Only a small ball held her attention today.

We are still calling her Isabel or Isabel Nezerkee, but she decided not to answer to any. The time passed so quickly, I do not think that she was with me even for an hour before they pick her up.

After the visit we went to Farida’s office to sign more papers, and then to the court house to submit them. It was also the first time that I saw my complete dossier as submitted to Kazakhstan, it has 139 pages excluding all the updates submitted later.  You know we are told never to sign anything without reading it first. I have signed so many papers in Russian without knowing their content only their intent. Is a good thing that I have a lot of confidence in CHI, and felt free to sign them without knowing their contents, otherwise I will be wondering if I signed my life away in those papers.

Tomorrow is Saturday so the visit is in the morning at 9:00 .We were not able to go to the internet café to post today either. 

2006-06-22 – Bonding day #2 – She is a charmer

 

Today Nurshai and Katya went with me to the Baby House. We wait for Isabel Nezerkee in the “play room”. Her caretaker brought her to me.  She still does not want anything to do with me. Started crying until a mall bag of cheerios did their appearance. She liked them and the yogurt that follows. She did not make any attempt to pick up the spoon. I suspect that she has always been hand fed and do not know how to use it. Tomorrow I will try to see if she can feed herself.

She had a green dress, red shoes and a multicolor sun hat. She looked so cute. She played for a short time with the toys that I brought her, and later with some of the toy in the room, she examined them as if she has never seen them before and did not know what to do with them. Once we played with a couple of the stack up toys together, the she enjoy putting the stack together and crumbling it to start all over again. But her favorite activity was crawling and walking assisted by me. 

She smiles a lot, but very few of those smiles are directed to me. Today we tried calling her Isabel more often to get her familiar with the name. The hour passed so quickly.

We were not able to go to the internet café to post.  I will try to do that tomorrow. I am having trouble downloading the pictures from the camera to the computer. If I could figure out what I am doing wrong, I will post some. Problem solved.

2006-06-21 – Bonding day #1 - Met Nezerkee, Now Isabel Nezerkee

 

 

Today I met Nezerkee (soon to be Isabel Nezerkee) for our first day of bonding. The kids were in the outside playing before the sun get too hot. They are lively lot.

Katya, Farida & I went to the Baby House, met the director and were assigned to the “sports” room. Their indoor play area. A very cheerful room. There her caretaker brought her.  Can you guess what happen? She took one look at me and start screaming bloody murder. I took a concentrated effort of Katya and me for 5 minutes and a bribery of one cookie for her to stop screaming until the cookie was gone. Then it started again. After the third cookie, she started to get more interested in the toys that I brought for her to play, but she still refused to look at me, and started playing with Katya.  After 30 minutes, she started playing with me, but not as her first option for play mate.

She has very good eye hand coordination. Likes to crawl all over the room, she is very fast and her little dress keeps crawling up her bottom. That’s me lowering her dress for a photo, Katya took the picture before I finished. She also likes to walk for long periods of times holding my fingers and even took couple of steps solo. We need to work on her muscle tone. She is very curious of new things and when she finish examining then she just hand them back to me. She spoke a couple of words in Kazak, and just before the nurse came for her, she repeated her first word in English. No it was no mama, it was “Okay”. We all started laughing.

Today the visit lasted only one hour. The shortest hour in history.  From tomorrow on my visitation is scheduled for the afternoon, after 3:30 pm for 1 short hour.

Memories are funny things, usually they represent realities distorted by emotions. The first time that I met her she looked so big, may be because the other two girls were so tiny. She looked like a typical 2 year old. But in reality is most like at the size and emotional development of a one yr old. Tomorrow I will try to take more pictures.

Meredith: I gave Katya, Nurshai and Farida your regards. They send you regards and were telling me a couple of funny stories of your time here.

Leyla: No signs of Karina or Nikita yet. I will wait a couple of days before I make a subtle inquiry.

2006-06-20 – More waiting.

I did not sleep well last night. I received a call in the morning from friends that help me start the day with a better outlook. It is so difficult to say  NO, I could not parent this child when I know the urgent need that the child have for a family of her own. But I could not take the three of them home.

I was expecting to meet the little boy today, but it did not happen.

Farida came in the morning to the apartment to explain that Nurshai needed to go to a town 5 hrs from Shymkent trying to locate Nezerkee birthmother for the verification of release of custody. She signed the documentation when she leaved Nezerkee in the Baby House, but the law requires that a reasonable effort is made to locate her and verify that she has not changed her mind.  Any decision regarding which child I will like to start the process with, needed to wait for news from Nurshai. We discussed the 3 little girls and what we both saw, our perceptions and the little information that we know. Detailed medical information could only be provided for a specific child once the decision has been made to start the process with her.

I went with the morning translator (I can not pronounce her name) to the internet café, to see if I could post and to do some research, but when I was logging in, the power went out. We waited for a while and decided to try later. Then we went  to the big mall in Shymkent were they rip me off for a pair of Capri pants and sandals. I should have made my calculation of the currency conversion before agreeing with the price. Then we went home to wait for the new TV ordered for the apartment. The old one only received 37 channels of which 13 could be viewed without interference and only 2 in English. The new TV is an impressive piece of equipment, but now I receive 13 channels of which only two have no interference and they are MTV in Russian. Just my luck.

At 3:00 Katya came to take me to Farida’s office. There she told me that Nurshai was not able to find Nezerkee birth mother, she is no longer in the area. Nobody seems to know where she went. So the paper work that she signed previously will prevail. Then Farida asked me which girl I will like to start the process with. After careful considerations and lots of praying I have decided to start the process with Nezerkee. I signed some papers and we took them to the Ministry of Education, where they give me authorization to start visiting her tomorrow in the morning and to receive her detailed medical information. After that the visits will be in the afternoon after 3:00 pm.

Tomorrow I will try to take photos and post them.  Katya is coming tonight to take me to the internet café to try to connect from there. Lets see how it goes.  Guys I need all the prayers that you could send in our name.

Weather note: today is even hotter, I have a headache that won’t quit no matter what I take for it. I am writing this in my laptop in the apartment living room, with an air conditioner and a fan on and inside this room the Temp is 85.6F (my new travel clock also provides temp readings)

2006-06-19 – Visit to the Baby House – No photos allowed.

At 8:30 am Katya pick me up and we went to an office where we met with Nurshai and the Director. She gave us permission to approach the Department of Education for permission to visit the Baby house. The Lady was very nice, the scary part was the elevator. I have never prayed so hard for our safety than on the minutes it took the thing to take us up to the 9^th floor. I tried to convince Katya to take the stairs to go down, but she assured me that the elevator was OK and we got a repeat experience.

From there we went to the Ministry of Education, were all the paperwork was filled but not signed. The Director was out of the office, so we needed to wait for her. I went back to the apartment. At 2:00 Katya called, Nurshai had the signed papers and the lady from The MOE will met us at the Baby House.

At the Baby House the whole group convened. Farida the CHI Lawyer joined us. We met with the Baby House director. She told me of 3 girls that were available. Then they brought them. 

• First came Nezerkee, she is two, took a look at me and screamed bloody murder for the few minutes that she was in the office. She can not walk. She needs physical therapy. She could stand on her own, and move her feet in an intentional coordinated matter. She is a beautiful little girl, very Kazak looking. She is of an average size for a 2 yr old. She has been in the Baby House for one year; previously she lived with her birth mother.
  
  

• Second came Cristina. What a beautiful 1yr old baby. Very small, I do not think she weights 12 pounds. She was wearing a garment for a 3 month baby. She have one teeth. The director told me that she was a premature baby that she has been in the baby house since birth. She was very alert. Responded to her name, made eye contact and follow objects and movement and could stand. She screamed for a while, while I was holding her, but quiet quickly and started trying to engage me to play. She reminds me of one of my nephews who was a premature too. Cristina has an inconclusive blood work.
  
  

• Third came Ankiet. What a beautiful child. When you look at her, so much emotional pain radiated from her being. She tolerated without protest that we touched her and hold her. But she clearly did not want to do anything with it. She have what they call congenital burns (very severe skin condition that make the skin looks like if she has been severely burn) she also has other medical and physical conditions. She broke my heart.

The Baby House director then sent me home to think about the girls. It is expected that tomorrow I see a little boy also available. He was not at the baby house this day. After seeing him, I need to let them know which baby I will like to start the process with.

I went home to think, and it is very difficult. How I am going to decide? Each one is special in their own way. I am praying for guidance now. I needed to bounce my ideas and concerns, so I called my sister and a couple of good friends at a not very good time to them, but they were kind enough to hear me out and help me bounce ideas.

2006-06-18 -I make it to Shymkent.

I took the Lufthansa flight from JFK-Frankfurt-Almaty.  I got there at midnight. The CHI driver, Bayan, was waiting for me and took me to a very nice apartment. From there he called the translator Lyazzat, and she gave me the travel arrangements for Shymkent. It was nice to take a shower, make coffee the way I like it, have a snack and relax for a while, before leaving for the airport again.  I make it to Shymkent on time. Nurshai (CHI coordinator) and Katya (translator and driver) were waiting for me. They took me to the apartment that is going to be my home for one month, then to the money exchange and then to the supermarket. They show me a little bit of the area, and then took me back to the apartment to rest.

First thing that I notice in Shymkent was the heat. I got there at 9:30 am and it was already 42C. I thought God I am going to melt here. They told me not to worry that it was going to get worse and it did. The release came at night with a balmy 30C temperature.

Best decisions taken:

• Bought a 4 wheels spinner suitcase. It saved my back, I put my hand luggage on top of it, slightly pushed and it moved without effort wherever I needed it to be moved. 

• When the Air Astana lady during check in asked how much my hand luggage weight, I avoided the question and explained to her that it was my computer. She gave me the hand luggage band for it to be taken in the plane with me without weighting it. It also helped that it was of a size that could fit in the plane top compartments (hand luggage is required to weigh 5 kilos or less, mine was over that).

Bad decisions taken: black and navy blue pants plus closed black shoes, God is hot here and I feel like I am roasting on my clothes.

Note to my self: Drink a lot of water, buy light colored pants and a pair of sandals as soon as possible.

2006-06-16 Shymkent here I go

This has been a crazy week, but I am ready to go.  I have my passport, visa, travel letter and cash.

Who will have thought a is so difficult to obtain new bills from the banks. Is not that I needed a loan or something I just needed to withdraw from my savings account and the banks was supposed to produced the bills. How deluded I was.  First the federal reserve only prints $100 bills twice per year and they are circulated. Those two dates had long past, so new bills are scarcer than a hen's teeth.  It took a letter to the public relations vice president of my bank to  persuade them to canvas their facilities and look for the money, plus the help of another non related bank and a couple of good friends to get he money and peace of mind.  THANKS!!!! to all that helped on process.

I am packed up and ready to go. But I tell you my luggage is either seriously disturbed or magic. I have re-done it 3 times because it weights to much, and every time I thought that we reached the famous 40 pounds, every time it weights more. I decided not to try again and pay the surcharge for the excess of baggage.

I lost my drivers license. I will have to deal with that when I return, and I do not find my favorite pair of comfortable old shoes that I was planning to wear on my trip.  Do you think I am nervous?  Well, I supposed Anna (my coordinator from CHI) is ready to hang me, I am bugging her every day with questions.

On Monday I will met the little girl that has been referred to me. I am praying to the Lord that she indeed is my Isabel. Any prayers from family and friends are more than welcome.

Well, I will post again from Shymkent, as soon as I can figure how to do it.

2006-06-08 - Introduction and Time Line

Hi,
I am Nelly Tirado, and I have been planning on adopting a child since my mid 20s. I am hoping to find my daughter in Kazakhstan.  The plans are to call her Isabel, which is a family name.This B-logs intention is to create a record of our adoption journey for Isabel, and to share the ups and downs of this intense time with family and friends.

I got serious about adoption nearly five years ago when I accepted my new job in NY. Well, adoption I found out is not an easy  thing for a single, 40 yr old (at that time)  with a job that requires 25-35 % International travel. After researching and evaluating my options I decided on an International Adoption from Kazakhstan. I just received my travel notification, I am leaving on June 16 to Shymkent, Kazakhstan.  But I am getting ahead of time. Here is my extended time lime:

• December 2001 - Move to NY to start new job
• May 2002 - Found a wonderful townhouse in a small town in NJ. It is at walking distance from excellent schools, the train station, the family doctor, my church and main street. Only problems, the townhouse has 2 bedrooms, and to be able to adopt I will need a live in nanny, so I needed a third bedroom, plus I realized that for 1yr I will travel 65% of my time not 35.
• October 2003 - Construction finished in my townhouse, the nanny's room is ready. My travel time came back to normal levels.Started researching adoption agencies.
• May, 2004 - Selected adoption agency (Children's Hope International) and sent application for the China Program (which was going to open enrollment for singles in June 1st).
• June, 2004 - Received notification that China's program singles quota was full and was asked if I wanted to be in the waiting list for 2007. I prayed for guidence and after carefull cosiderations changed programs to Kazakhstan. Started collecting documents for home study.
• August, 2004 - Started Home Study with United Family & Children's Society.
• December, 2004 - Finished Home Study.
• January, 2005 - Sent I-600A to immigration.
• March, 2005 - Received I-171H from immigration
• April, 2005 - Apostilled all documents.
• May, 2005 - All documents sent to adoption agency (CHI).
• June, 2005 - Documents translated.
• July, 2005 - Documents sent to Kazakhstan Consulate
• August - Nov, 2005 - I am not sure where all the paperwork went.
• November, 2005 - Did new FBI Fingerprinting Requirement
• January, 2006 - Papers on MOE on Kazakhstan
• April, 2006 - Did fingerprinting for immigration again and updated the paperwork.
• June 2, 2006 - Documents in the Shymkent region
• June 5, 2006 - Got notified to start working on pre-travel documents and wait for THE CALL with the travel dates.
• June 6, 2006 -THE CALL came.  I will be traveling to Shymkent on June 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!.